What is this feeling?
Hatred, it boils from my very core,
Why do I feel it?
I haven't the slightest idea...
Who do I hate?
I can't even begin to remember,
Why do I hate her?
Those memories vanished too.
All I know is she is someone who can't ever vanish,
Try as my instincts might,
She'll always be there,
Clinging onto the edge of my mind.
I want her gone,
But I need her to stay,
It's like my very existance depends on this hatred,
This hatred I can't remember ever starting.
How do I even know she exists?
I can only depend on the accounts of others,
Whom affirm that she was indeed real,
And that she deserves my hatred.
One p
Where Did They Go? by Broken-Ugly-Doll, literature
Literature
Where Did They Go?
Everything's gone,
Every memory is blurred,
Every word I once wrote holds no meaning,
I'm grasping for something, anything, to help me remember.
What do these words mean?
Love?
When was this?
When was I ever in such a state?
Last night, everything was there, and painful to think about,
This morning, I wake up, and everything's gone,
Who am I writing about?
Who is this girl?
It's like him all over again,
I can't remember a thing,
I feel as if it's a relief,
A blessing disguised as a curse.
Perhaps it'll make everything better,
A truly clean slate,
When really, in my mind, nothing even happened,
I can move forward, my memori
Ah yes, I play innocent,
When I'm the one who blames myself,
You're too blind to see me punish myself,
As my screams fall on deaf ears.
Your word is law,
It's how it's always been,
It's why I can't for the life of me blame you,
And only kick myself for everything I've done wrong.
You trained me with fear as your tool,
Bribery and then more fear,
'Till I could only see you as a higher up power,
The one I tried to follow.
There's nothing there for me to polish,
Or repolish for that matter,
There isn't any gold underneath,
It's pointless to polish something as flawed as me.
It's like the blood that once spilled across my skin,
Screaming till my throat was raw,
Crying till I ran out of tears,
Hating myself till I couldn't look in a mirror,
Blaming myself for what I did wrong.
Screams are silly and petty,
And my tears are not to be wasted on you,
And now I can only wonder,
What did I ever see in you?
I can't even begin to go on,
About my insane regret,
My wish for better times,
My wish for my memory to be erased.
My memories are already starting to fade,
I could block out those years of suffering,
Just like I blocked out him,
Could just remember you as my best friend.
It's starting already,
And one day, I won't remember love,
I won't remember holdin
I suppose it's a bad sign,
When I begin to compare you,
To the person who scared my skin,
In such garish ways.
He tore through flesh,
You tore through my heart,
Why is it that a part of me says,
That you're more of a monster than he was?
The other part is just full of unconditional love,
How my evil side would like to lock that other side up,
I want my evil side to burn in hell for its awful thoughts,
I want only my good side to prevail.
Part of me prefers him to you,
Would rather be hurt again and again,
Rather than even speak to you again,
Let alone see you.
The other more dominant part,
Wants nothing more than to be loved,
These Games You Play by Broken-Ugly-Doll, literature
Literature
These Games You Play
I reach for you,
Until you step out of sight,
I cry,
Until I run out of tears,
I scream,
Until my voice is hoarse.
What did I do wrong?
You won't even tell me,
You just leave again and again,
Not even giving me the chance to ask why,
You're far happier playing these games with me,
These sick twisted games, the only thing keeping you going.
Just take my hand,
Tell me what's wrong,
Just let me cry for you,
Let me wipe away all of your tears,
I'll fight away all your fears,
I can make the pain go away.
But no, you'd rather fuck around with me,
You'd rather give me hope,
Then snatch it away,
Give me a reason to smile,
Then a
You'll drink away your troubles,
Watch them fade as you smoke away your worries,
Becoming more and more like the one you hate,
As I lie suffering.
You don't even care,
You wish I was a dog,
So you could control me better,
You don't even realize how much your words affect me.
I suppose I am like a dog,
Desperate for your love,
Something that loves you no matter how often you beat her,
She'll always forgive you, always reach for you.
And you'll just destroy yourself,
While dragging me down with you,
I want you to leave my life,
But I'd die if you did....
Help me,
Bring me to life,
Just live your life right,
Give me peace of m
My regrets parade through my thoughts,
I scream as loud as I can possibly scream,
I cry until I run out of tears,
Misery, anger, pain, and love take over me.
Now my darling,
What are you thinking about?
What are you doing?
What are you feeling?
I can mend a broken heart,
As well as any other human being,
My own is the only exception,
I could never take care of it.
I could only let it be ripped to shreds,
I could only ever try my hardest to protect yours,
But I could never even do that,
I just held it in a vice-like grip.
Every word I write is about you,
My love for you floods every line,
Now let me ask you this,
Are the wor