Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconbroken-ugly-doll: More from Broken-Ugly-Doll





Details

Submitted on
April 16, 2010
File Size
13.0 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
5,537
Favourites
25 (who?)
Comments
11
×
FACADE STAGEPLAY
Fri Apr 16 16 12 58 2010

TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?

GRACE
What for?

(Ed knocks on the front door.)

(Ed knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
That should be obvious! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's right on time!

ED
hello gorgeous

GRACE
Trip...!

(ED knocks on the front door.)

(ED knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Ed!!

TRIP
Hey!   God  it's been so long since we've seen you!  -- (interrupted)

(ED kisses trip.)

TRIP
Oh... you're doing the European-style greeting...

TRIP
we just got back from a trip to Italy, but the men didn't do that with each other... um... -- (interrupted)

ED
yeah, european

TRIP
Uh, well, it's, uh -- it's good to see you.

(ED kisses trip.)

TRIP
Well come on in...

TRIP
Uh, let me go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

ED
i love the european style

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

(ED sits on the couch.)

ED
ooooohhh ttrrriiippp?

GRACE
Ed,

GRACE
Hi!  How are you?  Oh god it's been such a long time! -- (interrupted)

ED
oh

GRACE
Oh, H-mmm (happy smile sound)

ED
grace

GRACE
And, I've -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Uh...

GRACE
Well, come in, make yourself at home...

ED
it's you

ED
oh dear

TRIP
Whoops, I need -- (interrupted)

(ED gets up from the couch.)

GRACE
Uh...

TRIP
I'm gonna fix us some drinks.

(Trip closes the front door.)

TRIP
Good news, I just fully loaded the bar, with the real quality stuff... only the best for my guests. -- (interrupted)

ED
mmm

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah, time for a drink.

TRIP
So, what's your poison?

(ED comforts trip.)

TRIP
We should have something fun,

TRIP
like sangria?

(ED hugs trip.)

TRIP
Oh, uh, you're hugging me...

ED
sex?

GRACE
How nice of you.  Isn't it good to see -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Wait...

GRACE
You think we should....

GRACE
have more sex...    

ED
No

TRIP
Ha ha, ha, oh, you're -- you're quite the kidder tonight, ha ha ha...

GRACE
Ha, yeah, ha ha...

ED
Trip, I've missed you

TRIP
Ha ha, heh, never afraid to say anything that pops into your mind, ha heh heh... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, ha ha, I --

ED
You don't call anymore

GRACE
Ah you seem to remember how much Trip likes compliments. -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uh, well, I'm just going to make us all some nice sangria.

GRACE
No no,

GRACE
Ed,  how about something simple, like a nice glass of chardonnay?

(ED hugs grace.)

GRACE
Oh, uh, you're hugging me...

TRIP
Oh, well that was nice, I'm sure Grace appreciates that.

(ED kisses trip.)

GRACE
(clears -- (interrupted)

TRIP
uh... uh, heh heh...

GRACE
(nervous coughing)

TRIP
wow, that was, um...

TRIP
wha...

GRACE
wha...

ED
I'm being european

TRIP
ha ha, heh...

GRACE
ha ha ha...

TRIP
ha ha ha!

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha!!

TRIP
Ha ha ha, heh,   Ed,

GRACE
heh heh...

TRIP
you're out of control, man...!

ED
forgive my european-ness

TRIP
push our little buttons...

TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, heh, you know that?

TRIP
ha ha...

ED
I'm just being european

TRIP
(big sigh)

TRIP
Anyway... what were we talking about, heh?

TRIP
Oh yeah,    Ed,  I thought you might like this photo I just put -- (interrupted)

ED
I haven't greeted Grace yet

(ED hugs grace.)

TRIP
N -- no, no, come look at this Italy photo!

GRACE
Oh, that's --oh -- (interrupted)

(ED kisses grace.)

ED
LET'S GO TO ITALY

GRACE
He just...

TRIP
isn't...

GRACE
uh...

TRIP
You...

GRACE
Where is...

TRIP
uh, but...

GRACE
He...

ED
I LOVE THIS PICTURE

TRIP
That's really...

ED
I'm sorry

TRIP
W -- what -- what we really need to do... um...

TRIP
We need to send a letter to the...

ED
I was just being friendly

TRIP
the real estate agent...

GRACE
Yeah, yeah...

GRACE
be sure they know that everything's okay...

TRIP
Ah, yes, right!  Yeah...

ED
let's talk about the italy trip

TRIP
(long release sigh)

TRIP
yeah...

TRIP
Heh heh,    Ed,  seeing you brings back good -- (interrupted)

ED
How was Italy?

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
Oh, I'll get it --

GRACE
No, no, we have a guest, we can let the answering machine pick it up.

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
Grace, no, I want --

GRACE
Trip, please dear, don't be rude.

GRACE
It's probably just the execs at work inviting you to another one of your precious 'high class poker games'.

PHONE
** RING **

PHONE
** RING **

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

ANSWERING MACHINE
** click **

ANSWERING MACHINE
You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip.  Leave us a message!

ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **

ANSWERING MACHINE
Grace, this is your father, I thought I'd call to see how my lovely daughter is doing.

TRIP
Oh, it's your parents!  I'll get it --

GRACE
Trip, Trip, please, I don't want to talk to them right now...

TRIP
I want to say hello --

GRACE
No no, Trip, we're entertaining a friend in our new apartment...

ANSWERING MACHINE
I want you and Trip to come up to the house this weekend, your mother and I are throwing a party for a senior VP at the firm, and you should be there.

GRACE
the last thing I want to do is talk to my parents.

ANSWERING MACHINE
Oh, and be sure to arrive early, I want to talk to you about this business about why you won't be attending your mother's Christmas Eve gala.

ED
Trip, you used to say fabulous

GRACE
Y -- yeah, yeah, no, talking about my parents is just going to frustrate me.

ED
a lot

ANSWERING MACHINE
(clear throat) So, that's all.  Uh, goodbye.

GRACE
Yeah, yeah.

ED
in bed

GRACE
You...

GRACE
You think we should....

GRACE
have more sex...    

ED
gorgeous eyes

ED
NO!

TRIP
Uh, ha... ha ha ha... uh... y -- well, you, uh... you're really, uhh...

ED
HE'S MINE

GRACE
What -- what is he --

TRIP
No, no no, no Grace, ha ha ha, he's having a bit of fun with us tonight, that's all...

GRACE
(clears throat)

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

ED
DRINKS?

ED
YEAH!?

TRIP
Um...

TRIP
Heh heh,    Ed,  seeing you brings back good memories, you know?

GRACE
Yes, it does.   H-mmm (happy smile sound)

ED
of us getting drunk?

TRIP
Oh, yeah, you know, I think I'll fix you a real drink in not too long...

ED
at gay bars?

TRIP
Wha... uh...

GRACE
Oh, Trip, he's just teasing you...  It's good, we all need that once in a while.

ED
Remember us, at the gay bar?

TRIP
Ed,  what's the deal?

GRACE
Trip, he's just kidding around -- -- (interrupted)

ED
I'm just kidding

TRIP
So, yeah, I just realized...

TRIP
Ed,  remember, it was almost exactly ten years -- (interrupted)

ED
I adore you, Trip

ED
your eyes...

GRACE
God... you're really laying it on thick tonight!

GRACE
You know what... I'll be right back.

TRIP
Grace, sweetie, wait --

ED
they pierce my soul

GRACE
No, no, stay put, I'll just be in the kitchen.

(ED kisses trip.)

(ED kisses trip.)

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

ED
i've missed you

TRIP
Um, uh, Grace, sw - sweetie pie, could you --

TRIP
could you bring out s - some of those... those... uh, tuscan sun dried tomato... uh, cranberry -- (interrupted)

(ED hugs trip.)

(ED kisses trip.)

TRIP
Um... well... uh....

ED
I've wanted you for so long

TRIP
Gr -- Grace, honey, did you find the crackers? -- (interrupted)

ED
I hope you don't mind

TRIP
Yeah, well, I wish we weren't having this... uh... misunderstanding... -- (interrupted)

ED
That I fantasize about you in bed

TRIP
Uhh!  Heh!  You... wha... oh... heh heh...

(ED kisses trip.)

TRIP
Hey -- hey, uh...   Ed,

ED
I remember when you were gay

TRIP
I meant to tell you, we're going to have this big, big party next weekend.

TRIP
Do you -- do you think you can make it? -- (interrupted)

GRACE
So, what have you two been talking about in here?! -- (interrupted)

ED
I'D LOVE TO COME

TRIP
Oh!  uh, -- (interrupted)

GRACE
You know, ever since we got married, Trip is forever trying to get me to buy new furniture, and redecorate,

GRACE
and -- and it's true, I kind of enjoy it but... -- (interrupted)

ED
I'm hungry

GRACE
So I normally -- (interrupted)

ED
I heard something about tomatos

TRIP
No no, no no, see, Grace loves expensive furniture, she...

TRIP
grew up in this really nice house, -- (interrupted)

ED
I WANT TOMATOES

GRACE
So, about my decorating...

GRACE
You know at work I waste all day designing ads for stylish objects, like this picture perfect wedding picture...

GRACE
and then it makes me think, I want to design it into my apartment...

TRIP
It's the first thing -- (interrupted)

(ED picks up a martini glass 2.)

GRACE
(little sigh) So we put up this wedding picture...

GRACE
but... dammit, it simply does not go in this room -- it never did!

(ED puts down a martini glass 2.)

TRIP
Doesn't go...? what?

ED
trip, make me a drink

GRACE
(annoyed sigh) -- (interrupted)

ED
a martini would be fabulous

ED
vodka?

ED
Please?

TRIP
Well, you have to appreciate how after a full day's work designing magazine ads, Grace can find the time to redecorate --  -- (interrupted)

GRACE
I want to throw it all out, get rid of everything, -- (interrupted)

ED
I'd like a drink

ED
Make me a drink

ED
Please make me a drink

ED
I want some wine

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

(ED kisses trip.)

TRIP
You know what,    Ed,  that's it, you need to leave.

ED
yeah, you like that don't you

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- just go.

ED
i fucked you up the ass

(Trip closes the front door.)
Ed, (me) is trying to seduce Trip, and make him gay again 83
Add a Comment:
 
:icondiceesweets:
DiceESweets Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I was dying! XD This is awesome!
Reply
:iconyukitalia:
Yukitalia Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Is it possible to make the characters fall in love with you...? Oh my god, I'd have Trip be my homosexual partner any day!! :iconnosebleedingplz:
Reply
:iconki--kat:
Ki--Kat Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i call trip terp ever sense he derped when i was playing, he still responds normally :D
Reply
:iconmonsieur-crasque:
Monsieur-Crasque Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2012
HAHAHAHA :heart: :XD:
This gave me such a good laugh :XD: The sense of total confusion in that game is really awesome :laughing:
Reply
:iconizzymaster:
Izzymaster Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Student Digital Artist
LOL

I always knew it!
Reply
:iconmariokiller12457:
mariokiller12457 Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2012
trip throws you out :icontrollfaceplz:
Reply
:iconizzymaster:
Izzymaster Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Doing good how about you?
Reply
:iconmariokiller12457:
mariokiller12457 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012
yep
Reply
:iconlast-sane-fangirl:
Last-sane-fangirl Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2011
:iconepicclapplz:
Reply
:iconlixa123:
Lixa123 Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2010
OH MAN.
That is kind of really ridiculously ... awesome.

I want to download this and just see what reaction I get if I kiss one of them repeatedly now, haha.
Reply
Add a Comment: